Do Not Hold the Dying Person To This Life

Question: In the Checklist on Death and Dying you say, “Do not try to hold on to the dying person. It is fine to reminisce if the person chooses, but do not hold the person to this life, for example, with stories or family photos.” What about reading to them or giving them a massage?


Answer: It would be fine to read to the dying person if they would like this. Think about what has attracted the dying person beyond themselves into the Mystery of life. Are they attracted to Jesus or other religious figures? Is there religious literature that would serve them? If they have had a positive response to Adi Da Samraj, you might choose something from Easy Death or perhaps Adi Da’s book for children, which is really for everyone, called What, Where, When, How, Why and Who to Remember to be Happy. They may be receptive to simple relaxation exercises to practice letting go. Music might open their heart to the feeling of the Mystery.

Massaging the dying person would certainly be appropriate if they are comfortable with this. However, if the person is very close to dying, it is best not to massage their feet since that may draw their energy down to their feet. In the dying process, energy needs to ascend to the top of the head and the foot rub may interfere with this process.


7 thoughts on “Do Not Hold the Dying Person To This Life

  1. Ginger Minnick says:

    As a hospice nurse I have found that sometimes, in the early stages of entering the dying process, looking at pictures, remembering family times…happy and sad, doing ‘life review’ can be beneficial in letting the person know they have been important and will be remembered. I agree that as death is approaching this may tend to ‘hold’ them back as a lot of physical touching might. Judy, I love the suggestion concerning “what has attracted the dying person beyond themselves into the Mystery of life” and incorporating a reading into those final times with that beloved person.

  2. Isis Aquarian says:

    wonderful service thank you….since we are basically no longer a tribal people the circle of life does not get experienced by all…when the young grown up they need to see a birth they need to see growing old, they need to witness a death and be ok with it all…birth and death are but bookends of our life “Father Yod” of the source brotherhood taught us this and that a death is a birthing into another realm. xo isis aquarian

  3. David Dressler says:

    Many years ago my father was dying. I had not seen him in years and went to say goodbye where he lay in his bed in the hospital. What I saw was this white light all around him. At first I thought it was sunlight reflected off the sheets and white hospital walls. I took his hand and sat with him. He was in a coma and would periodically become conscious and then submerge again. At one moment, when he opened his eyes, they were the clearest blue I had ever seen them to be, and out of them were radiating beams of white light! At once I realized this was unconditional love I was seeing coming from his eyes. I realized that, all my life, I had waited to see love like this in his eyes but was only now seeing it with mere minutes, perhaps, left to his existence. I also felt a strange hesitation about asking my dying father the following question. I knew that, if I did not ask now, I would never know the answer. So, I asked him: “Dad, do you see this energy coming out of your eyes?” My father was an avowed atheist and totally non-spiritual. Yet he answered: “Yes,…I think so” and closed his eyes. That was the last time I heard my father’s voice. To this day, I have worried about that one word, “think.” “I think so.” Was he not sure? I also marveled at the fact that an avowed atheist was able to experience what I am certain was uncondtional love in the last minutes of his life. For the record, my aunt, who visited my father on another day, and who has no experience with energy, spirituality, or the white light, told me she saw this light too.

  4. David Heath says:

    Hello Judy,

    I have recently completed the legal paperwork and specific directions to my loved ones as to how exactly I want to be served in the dying process.

    If I am conscious or even unconscious or unable to communicate over a period of time before my physical death, I have asked to be read the Hridaya Rosary (Four Thorns of Heart Instruction):
    a) First Word
    b) Prologue
    c) Part One
    d) Part Two
    e) Part Four
    f) Part Five

    I understand Ruchira Adi Da Samraj gifted this as a devotional text to devotees. Do you have any comments about my having this read?



    • Judy says:

      Hi David
      When approaching the death transition, it’s good to connect with whatever attracts you beyond yourself into the feeling of the Mystery of life. If you find readings from Adi Da Samraj’s Hridaya Rosary do this, it may be very helpful for someone to read it to you. One suggestion though.
      Hridaya Rosary is about the descent of the spiritual current. When someone is very close to dying, as in the final few days (and, also, after their heart beat and breath have ceased), energy is ascending. So they should be encouraged to be drawn upwards. If you have the book Easy Death, I would recommend you read pages 363-367 (2005 edition only), where Adi Da talks about the Bliss, the Sound, and the Light which attract the being upward. Thanks for your comment. I hope this helps.


      • David Heath says:

        Thank you for your comments and suggestion, Judy. I do have Easy Death, the 1983 edition, and I am having passages read from that edition.

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